yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
