They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
