Buhtt sex?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
