She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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