You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
