He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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