ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
