well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
