Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
