He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
