Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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