Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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