I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
