he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is it because I queefed?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize