Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
