If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
