just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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