Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
