WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
