They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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