Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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