He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
