i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
