Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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