i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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