If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
