no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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