your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
