Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Congratulations! We have a period
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
