Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
