her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
