my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
