so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
