if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
