4 words: hood of his car
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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