first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
