I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
