What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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