Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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