Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we should paint friendship bongs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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