I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize