I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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