she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
