can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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