U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
