nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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