you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
is this the sara with the beer cane?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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