sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
