I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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