You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
