God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize