glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
