I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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