just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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