Who did Billy Mays play for?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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