If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
