you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize