You work out of a Hotel?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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