Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
