I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
