you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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